Holly Madison's life was documented on The Girls Next Door or The Girls of the Playboy Mansion, but apparently, her life was not how it all seemed to be.

The former Playboy bunny, who starred on the E! reality series with Bridget Marquardt, Kendra Wilkinson and Hugh Hefner has made a memoir which will be released on June 23 this year. In her memoir, she revealed one of her most surprising secrets.

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In a press release for her book entitled "Down the Rabbit Hole," Holly revealed that she was suicidal while she was living in Hugh's Playboy mansion. She said that while living in the mansion seemed like fun and fairy-tale like including being able to attend countless A-list celebrity parties and enjoying her own top rated show for four years, that quickly changed and turned into an overbearing routine which involved following a strict set of rules and fighting with the other bunnies.

The release also mentioned that Holly's life inside the famous mansion was anything but a dream. It "became her nightmare," the release said. After Holly lost her identity, her sense of self-worth and her hopes for her future, the 35-year old television personality found herself in the bathtub thinking about taking her own life.

Holly tied the knot with Pasquale Rotella in Disneyland back in 2013. They now have a daughter they named Rainbow, who they welcomed on March 5, 2013 in Las Vegas.

TagsHolly Madison, Down the Rabbit Hole, Holly Madison Playboy Mansion